applied for a job, got a call the same day. (how often right - 1 in a million). He was nice, trying to find out more about me. but one thing he asked that shook me: what is your career goal. he was just wondering why i would apply to that company considering i would/could probably go somewhere else. then he became honest to me as to the exact job i'll be doing. i was not keen anymore. but he gave me 2 days to think about it. after the phone call, my first thought was that i hated myself for not being true to myself. am i applying with the mentality of (throw all the stones and see where it lands and just go with it), or am i applying to achieve my goals and plans in life, and working the hell out of me to get there. i realised that this application was the former.
it was heart wrenching - a decision to do 1) what was easy. an offer ready at hand. my last resort since i've almost reached a dead end. but something i 'dont mind'. versus. 2) to press on, to what seems unreachable. what i know i have 'passion/interest' for rather than something i merely 'dont mind'. but no offers.
i hate these decisions. and i seem to always get stuck in these undesirable situations. i know i wouldnt like the job. but pple tell me it's good experience. better than nothing.
i secretly would rather do nothing, than drag myself out of bed every morning at 6am to do something im not passionate about for 10-12hours a day. but the other side of the coin is, you cant always have what you want. pple say life is never fair. Is it?
I rejected it. It's so peaceful. Silently, i. was. proud. =)
ive no outstanding applications right now. i've pretty much lost steam on applying. new stories emerged and i just realised i wasnt shorlisted for somewhere else. I came up with so many theories on what that company wanted. Speculation provided some joy for a short moment. Yet, there's still a need to move on.
How am i going to do it? only God knows :)
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